Surprise!

One of the benefits of being in a relationship like mine, is that I don’t get flowers and chocolates as gifts. I much prefer flowers in the ground (alive) and I rarely eat chocolate (I prefer savoury food, like mozzarella balls, as snacks). So instead of those things, I get surprise deliveries from LoveHoney, Ann Summers and the like.

I’ve got a week off work so I’m generally sitting, watching Orange is the New Black, with tea all day. This is lucky, or I would have missed this particular delivery.

Suprise!

What delights do we have in here…?

LoveHoney_packaging

I have to say I’ve always liked anything wrapped in tissue paper. There’s something about that rustling noise that says ‘this is just for you’.

Plug

*squeals*

Mortimer has just informed me that this was supposed to be bigger, so I’m to go online and choose a bigger one (for training…). However, I shall keep this one as it solves the issue we were having with the last one (it didn’t have a handle at the bottom and has on one occasion disappeared, which caused a bit of panic and a lot of hilarity).

Mystery Item

What’s this?

Essential Lube

Of course. ALWAYS USE LUBE. Rule no.1 of ass-play. ALWAYS USE LUBE. Don’t find out the hard way.

There’s still more in the box… What do we think? Any guesses?

Slave Collar

I remember seeing a woman in a collar as a kid in a shop window in Paris (my grandparents’ favourite restaurant was in an interesting quartier). I’m not sure I understood it then, and I’m pretty sure I don’t understand it now, but I do know unwrapping this made me want to strip, put stockings and a pair of heels on, and seek out Mortimer at work to be pulled into a dark cupboard and have him whisper ‘slave’ in my ear while fucking me. In short, it turned me on.

Thank you, Mortimer. Let’s play.

– MJ